The New El Hadji Diouf.

Many congratulations for last night. No, not the England team, fantastic result and all, but for Ivan Klasnic for evoking the spit spirit of our late and lamented Senegal striker and gobbing near John Terry. We at the Towers are not ones to condone this sort of thing, but when it comes to John "Englishmen don't dive, don't understand why we've been banned from buying players, pisses on dancefloors, mum's a shoplifter" Terry, we think pot, kettle, black. Whilst we appreciate that he is the English captain he was the best of a bad bunch that included Rio Ferdinand (please, was anyone serious about that?), Stevie G. (before his court case) and the man who had already relinquished the role once. Can't remember his name but he goes out with a Spice Girl. Anyway, just to say that this motley crew cannot hold a candle to your Moore's, Charlton's, Robson's and Lineker's.

Or maybe he was just getting into practice for Portsmouth. Unfortunately Arjen De Zeuww on longer plays for them.