Damn....!

Well, didn't see that coming. A tactical masterstroke by the Ginger Genius and all of a sudden T'Wanderers are up to tthirteenth. That's right, away from the relegation zone. (This placement dependent on West Ham and Citeh tonight). Lovely little flick by Lee, commented on by approximately no-one on the MOTD sofa. Spoke about Villa-Blackburn. Oh yes. But, and probably because the producer got a nose bleed from putting Bolton on fourth on Saturday night, neither Hansen nor the ex-tache commented on it.

Anyway, your averages:

Jussi 6.476
Ricketts 6.188
Cahill 7.696
Knight 6.706
JLS 5.934
Ricky 5.476
Muamba 6.112
Cohen 6.522
Matty 6.362
SuperKev 6.612
Kidneys 5.588

Badger 5.15
Lee 7.02

Thereby making Gary Cahill, undoubtedly the third best central defender in the country, the man of the match. Harshly, Ricky G gets the brickbats. Let's hope this isn't a precursor to him being dropped. Although it probably is.

Predictions: Birmingham City v Bolton Wanderers

1. 4-5-1? Oh, go on then.
2. Bolton to score first and then to mount a serious back to the walls effort to keep Birmingham out for 88mins.
3. This to fail within four minutes.
4. Final score: 1-1
5. Sean Davis to get booked even though he is nowhere near the ground.

The New Winston Bogarde

You will possibly remember Winston Bogarde, the man who Chelsea paid £40,000 per week for four years, even though he only played eleven games for them and they consistently tried to offload him, demoting him to train with the youth team.Bogarde has stated that he did not leave as he was earning so much money. Well, step forward Danny Shittu, arguably Bolton's fourth choice central defender, after Cahill, AOB and Stefan Dennis (yes, he's that good). It has been made clear to him that he can leave and what must be 100% of football fans have no idea why he was bought in the first place as he is obviously out of his depth in the Premiership. The Shit, however, has different ideas, and has refused a loan to Championship high flyers, Sheffield United, stating that he does not want to take the step down (read "I'm earning more money here than I would there). It may be argued that the top of the Championship is too good a level for Mr. Shit and we strongly urge him to take the move, otherwise the next time we see him he could be running out as a team mate of Fat Mike. Wherever he ends up next.

Ode to an one their way defender.

So Goodbye To You
Danny Shittu
You Were Very Poor
So You're Being Shown The Door

Oh gone all, we all knew this would happen.

Internet Malfunctions. Who needs them?
If we had been able to get on the internet on Friday, here would be our predictions for Saturday's game.

1. Bolton to win 2-1, giving the GSO five more games.
2. Matty Taylor to score at least one of them.
3. Tal Ben Haim to show why he should never have left.
4. That bloke with the bell to get right on everyone's tits, even though we only watched it on MOTD.
5. The press to write solely about the problems at Portsmouth in both the Sunday and Monday papers.

Well, 4 out of 5 ain't bad.

We would have put our usual spin on the headlines but as the above states, the only thing the papers were interested in talking about was the problems at Portsmouth. At least the word "dire" didn't appear once when talking about T'Wanderers. Which makes a refreshing change.

YOUR AVERAGES

Jussi 6.18
Ricketts 5.76
Knight 5.87
Cahill 7.19
JLS 5.88
Steinsson 6.66
Son of Avi 6.45
Little Davies 6.07
Muamba 6.61
Taylor 5.91
Super Kev 6.17

The Spitter 5.44
The Badger 5.17
Basham 5.22

Man of the Match then was Gary Cahill. We at the Towers feel that he is about a season too late for the World Cup. Because, you know, Upson is the third best central defender in the country.
A discarded roll from the Eastlands to be thrown at Sam Ricketts.

Now, is it too much to hope that we have found a new position for Gretar?

Til tomorrow masochists.

The New El Hadji Diouf.

Many congratulations for last night. No, not the England team, fantastic result and all, but for Ivan Klasnic for evoking the spit spirit of our late and lamented Senegal striker and gobbing near John Terry. We at the Towers are not ones to condone this sort of thing, but when it comes to John "Englishmen don't dive, don't understand why we've been banned from buying players, pisses on dancefloors, mum's a shoplifter" Terry, we think pot, kettle, black. Whilst we appreciate that he is the English captain he was the best of a bad bunch that included Rio Ferdinand (please, was anyone serious about that?), Stevie G. (before his court case) and the man who had already relinquished the role once. Can't remember his name but he goes out with a Spice Girl. Anyway, just to say that this motley crew cannot hold a candle to your Moore's, Charlton's, Robson's and Lineker's.

Or maybe he was just getting into practice for Portsmouth. Unfortunately Arjen De Zeuww on longer plays for them.

Dull. God it's so dull.

With Bolton's players (at least the non English contingent plus Gary Cahill) away on international duty, virtually nothing is happening down at Burnden Way. Our non-descript assistant manager has took some time off from twiddling his thumbs to big up Ivan Klasnic, Tony Kelly has so little to say he's raking over the coals of the Liverpool game again, Fat Kev has been lying again about how he feels about his move to Newcastle and we're giving away free tickets to people in Blackburn, which has prompted a response from Jack Straw.

But that's it. I could do a dance, sing a song, even strip for money. But nothing would stop this being quite possibly the most deathly dull international break since, well, the last one. Still, it will give the GSO a chance to figure out of deficiences in the Portsmouth defence that his myopic staff haven't, hmmmm?