Does Gary Megson pay attention to fans? Discuss.

The Manchester Evening News today reports that Bolton are looking into bringing Eidur Gudjohnsen back to the club. As noted here last Thursday fans would be extremely happy to see our second favourite Icelandic international back at the club and would make an interesting front line with Elmander and Super Kev already at the Reebok. However, the major stumbling block that we at The Towers can see is that no one would really expect Bolton to be tussling for major honours next year and with Spurs, West Ham and Big Sam also sniffing around, and the fact that Eidur is only 30 so has some major years left in him, would he come to a mid table side?

The Bolton News, your first stop for lazy journalism.

Yesterday, under the banner headline "Why Whites won't take Michael", the Bolton News made sure that their readers were not under the impression that Bolton were, or ever had been, in the market for Michael Owen, after his infamous brochure was sent out to some Premier League clubs. Whilst we have to ignore the rhetorical question "Is he really that desperate that the brochure would have been sent first class to Burnden Way?" the article goes on to state that it is "believed" (therefore no one has confirmed it (or more likely never even mentioned it), goes on to talk about what is in the brochure that MAY HAVE come through the letterbox, wonders whether the Ginger Special one considered looking at him (not that we can say that he ever got the brochure) mentions that he has worked hard to trim the wage bill so wouldn't be able to afford to pay the affable scouser the money that he wants and then comes to the conclusion that he will probably file the brochure under "U for unlikely", although we cannot say for certain that his filing cabinet has a U in it and even if it has that the club got the brochure. So, within the space of an article they have gone from may have got the brochure to definitely got it and I used 90 seconds of my life reading it that I will never get back.

Also at the News, and coming in at No. 1 in our play on words summer tournament they liken a couple of summer targets to "The Professionals", Ferrie Bodde and Kevin Doyle. Bodie and Doyle!! Oh stop it.

Michael Ricketts watch this week sees Leeds United's one time fifth choice striker taking up table tennis on the Cayman Islands.

And if I could pass on a recommendation to Mr Megson. Have you head that Eidur Gudjohnsen may be up for sale? Hmmmmm......?

HANDS OFF!!!

Ok, no dicking around here. If there is one thing that sticks in my craw it is news outlets trying to drum up some sort of news when there is none about, which is usually the case when it comes to Bolton. OK, yes, Big Sam is an admirer of Super Kev, he did sign him and then continually play him, so it is pretty much a no brainer that he may casually mention a liking for him....not that he has. But Super Kev spent such a bad time at Blackburn that we have more chance of signing Anelka back than of him returning up the M61. Regular football, a captaincy, on the edge of the England squad. You be the judge.

In other news, Tottenham fan seems to be under the impression that his team have been the most successful team this century (look at the comments to the article) whilst a Guardian writer seems to think that he is the only, and therefore funniest, reporter to ever stereotype Kevin Davies.

Lee Bowyer, a more palatable Joey Barton?

It has been reported in today's M.E.N. that the club are looking at Lee Bowyer for a place in the already overcrowded central midfield berth. Now, in the words of Stretford songwriter Steven Patrick Morrissey, "Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before" We at the Towers aren't the only one's to draw this analogy but I prefer my midfield on the pitch, not in Horwich knick and although Bowyer was never found guilty of the crime he was arraigned for, that's like saying OJ didn't knife his missus. Pairing him with Joey Barton, a man who has turned so many corners he must either be lost or back where he started, would be like having fourteen of Robbie Savage, and I'm not talking about the one that played for the Wanderers in the 1980's. Even the Bolton News have continually raised an eyebrow about that. The word is NO Mr Megson. Would you like me to shout it any louder?

Hello. Where the hell have you been?

For a club the size of Bolton Wanderers it isn't unnatural for a number of first team players to move on quickly, whether they be found wanting (stand up Mr S. Lee of Liverpool), or have been offered terms at "better" clubs (usually Chelsea).
The records section here at X Towers have been scouring the internet for details on those players that have passed through the Reebok (alas we have come to a time when no ex Bolton players ever played at Burnden Park), and we proudly present the first part of your alphabetical definitive guide to "Hello. Where the hell have you been?"

A:
Aah, now you would expect an article like this to begin with Nicolas Anelka. No, no my friend, there are some others that come alphabetically before the dour Frenchman. Surely you haven't forgotten Bülent Akın, Hasney Aljofree and Mikel Alonso? Akin played exactly one game after he was signed from Galatasary and was then sold onto Gençlerbirliği S.K.. Oh yes, that Gençlerbirliği S.K.
Local(ish) boy Hasney played a number of games for the club in the old First Division before being parcelled off to Dundee United. He is now the captain at Swindon. He is also the only person on Wikipedia whose name begins with Hasney.
Xavi's older brother, Mikel was one of Sammy Lee's "signings" who was let go at the end of the 2007-08 season. A spell training at Swansea was followed by a half season in Tenerife. As a waiter, no doubt.
Nicolas Anelka is a French international who was......oh, you know all that. An FA Cup winner with Chelsea and the winner of the Premier League's Golden Boot. Well done son. Nice bit of business by the club that, even if it nearly cost us our place in the top flight.
Sam Ashton is a goalkeeper whose one game for Bolton was as a substitute for Jared Borgetti in the FA Cup. It was probably at this time that the Mexican realised that his future didn't lie at the Reebok. Now first choice goalkeeper at FC United of Manchester. Sam that it, not Jared.
Błażej Augustyn is a Polish defender who was on the youth books at Bolton. Had the brains to not take up Sammy Lee's offer of a contract at the end of this time at the academy and went back home. Now playing for Calcio Catania in Serie A.

B:
Ryan Baldacchino was signed from Blackburn, which is never a good sign. Why would Blackburn want to sell Bolton a youth player? Did well at Gretna before they went out of business and is now at Bonnyrigg White Eagles of New South Wales, no doubt getting a nice tan.
Steve Banks was probably the unluckiest goalkeeper that Bolton had. Ostensibly the first choice keeper, he managed to injure himself early and never got his place back off a certain Mr. Jääskeläinen. Now player/coach at Dundee United.
Anthony Barness, in this writer's humble opinion, was an unsung hero in the early days of Bolton's current time in the top flight. Hard working and professional, like Simon Charlton, he is now at Lewes, who have just been relegated from the Conference.
Tal Ben Haim. Aaaahhh, the grass is sometimes not greener son. Rubbish at Chelsea, signed by City just before the Arabs took over (not good for an Israel international) Tal is quickly playing for more clubs than Frank Worthington.
Jared Borgetti, after getting over the shame of being substituted by a goalkeeper, is now playing for more clubs than Frank Worthington, currently at Puebla back in Mexico, his fourth club there in two years.
Con Boutsianis, Australian, plays in Australia. Lost his job at Bolton due to a criminal record. Australian, criminal record, who knew?
Daniel Braaten continues to cover himself in cock all glory at Toulouse where he went as a make weight in the Johan Elmander deal. Or Johan Elmander continues to cover himself in cock all glory at Bolton where he went as a make weight in the Daniel Braaten deal. You decide. One goal in thirty games. That's Daniel, etc.....
Michael Bridges doesn't seem to be able to tear himself away from Carlisle where he has just completed his third stint. A modern day Neil Whatmore.

See, we're only at the end of B and it's already covered fourteen players. Tune in soon when we get to C and Vincent Candela's retirement game with Luis Figo and Zinedine Zidane on a chariot. Oh yes.

The Bolton News....only just catching up.

Yesterday we here at X Towers noticed the relative lack of fixture pile up against the "Big Four". This morning, and a full 22 hours and 30 minutes after the fixtures were published, the Bolton News caught up with the game.

Where's the tough month?

Remember last New Year? Liverpool and Arsenal away and Stretford at home in the space of four games. Nothing like that this time. Where will his excuse for a tough month come from, unless you think December will be a killer?

Player in not very good Sam Allardyce signing shock!!

When Blerim Džemaili signed for Bolton in the winter of 2006-2007, Big Sam Allardyce said the following.

"Džemaili is a fantastic player, who has played for the best team in Switzerland for the past three years. For someone so young, he has a wealth of experience. At the tender age of 20, he is the skipper of FC Zurich and is expected to become a regular international for Switzerland in the years ahead. He has hardly missed a game for FC Zurich since he started playing for them at the age of 17. I am excited by the prospect of working with Blerim next season".

Oh.Very.Dear. The next season saw Big Sam ensconsed at Newcastle and the new signing suffering an injury before he even arrived. One game, the FA Cup tie between Bolton Wanderers Reserves and Sheffield United Reserves in January 2008, and two managers later, Blerim was shipped off to a loan deal with Torino, who immediately managed to get themselves relegated, although whether these two outcomes are related is up for debate.

What is probably not up for debate is that sometimes the rose tinted spectacles of Big Sam's time at the club have to come off. Some shocking decisions in signings (Mario Jardel anyone?) may, and I say may in its loosest possible context, have been part of the reason why Gill Fartslime didn't release more funds to the manager, hastening his departure. At the same time as he signed Džemaili, Gerald Cid also made his way to the club. Add in Ibrahim Ba and you have a motley crew of players brought in by Bolton's favourite adopted son who make some of Sammy Lee's signings look positively inspired. Still doesn't explain why Mr Fartslime is bankrolling the Ginger Special One to the extent that he is though.

Good buy, good look, good riddance.

See, it's not just the Bolton website that can come up with a play on words.
Starting with the good riddance, it has come as a shock but a purely pleasant one that myopic, can't run properly, looks like Terry out of Emmerdale referee Rob Styles has decided to hang his whistle and cards in. His penalty decision at Trafford Park last season even had the Ginger Special One and Bolton fans agreeing, although that didn't last long, obviously. Here at X Towers we agree that referees have a hard time (I actually passed the ref's course but have never taken a match, preferring my limbs where they are thank you) but when even the Madrid bound Paris lover doesn't appeal, you know it's time to go. Apparently he's only 45. I didn't realise cataracts could become a problem that young. A Ho-Ho-Ho.

Now a good look at the transfer targets that Bolton are allegedly in for other than Miguel Velozzzzzzzzzo (this also covers the 'buy' of the title). The Express have reported that the club are renewing their interest in Sean Davis. Here at the Towers we are giving this a cautious 7/10. Bolton seriously need a central midfielder to replace Gavin McCann and Davis is as good as any. Bear in mind though that a lot of people fall into this category, ranging from Ronaldo to Lazarus, but he seems to have worked well with Matty Taylor while at Portsmouth, and we'll get him for nowt.
The Independent report that Moumouni Dagano is a target. Errr...me neither. We give this an X probability of 2/10. Sounds very like someone's agent talking them up.
And that's it. Here at the Towers we don't bother with goal.com or anyone like that, you may as well make up your own rumour than reading that.

In other news, the hair that is Ivan Campo has managed to pick up a parking ticket for having windows too heavily tinted in Ipswich. Now surely he was trying to not look out of the windows rather than stopping people looking in. We all know what Suffolk's like.

Our friend's over at Soccerlens have posted their thoughts on who will be the first manager out of the door next season. The Ginger Special One has come in as being as vulnerable as Mick McCarthy. Now, bearing in mind that the only people more vulnerable are Suntan Phil and Sparky maybe we're all going to get what we want for Christmas.

Over the next few weeks we'll be looking at what former Bolton players that are still kicking a ball around have been doing this past season, although we all know that Anelka and Eidur have picked up a couple of medals. Apparently Vincent Candela had some sort of Ben Hur situation at his retirement game. All Jussi is getting at his testimonial is Hibs.

And finally......the Michael Ricketts watch this week sees the striker who manages to put more weight on in pre season training weighing into the current financial situation at the Jamaican Football Federation.

The Bolton News Bolton Wanderers Page, Giving You All The News About Bolton Wanderers

Probably due to paucity of what comes out The Reebok during the summer, The Bolton News today give us a story on a world record transfer fee on the Bolton Wanderers page. Good work fellas, but what has this got to do with us? Do you not think that we watch/read the news? And are you expecting Messrs Gill, Ferguson, Ronaldo or Pérez to give a quote to your paper? And me sideways looking at this story is larger than the story on the website. Waste of time?
Also, in the most rhetorical survey this side of "was Danny Shittu a quality purchase?", they are asking if Bolton should change their style of play. Quoting the Ginger Special One, in an interview of bleeding obviousness Miguel Velozzzzzzzzzzzzz...........(sorry, fell asleep there) Miguel Veloso is mentioned for the thousandth time as someone that he would like to bring in and then there's......er....hang on while I look under this metaphorical newspaper to see if there is anyone else's name hiding in the article......sorry, that's it. So we can expect summer signings to surpass last summers. And if I hear Leroy Lita's name one more time.............
On the website they have a headline of "New Kit on the Block". Have you seen what they've done there?

Grass? That's dope man.

In news I, and any right thinking person, could care less about, Bolton are putting a new pitch in. No, not in for a player, an actual new pitch. Surely they should be putting new air in, seeing as how that was where the ball spent most of last season. But wait, according to the captain, this could herald a new type of game, known as "football".

So much to catch up on.....

Partly due to the Brothers Gallagher coming on slightly late on Thursday, thereby making it impossible to update anything on Thursday, and then myself and Mrs X being on the road since then, mostly back into Wi-Fi? WTF? country, this is the first update of the week. And when they tried to go back on their ticket refund offer it proved the following moral. Never trust a Citeh fan, especially when he is being backed up by his Citeh supporting brother.

So.....Gary, unsuprisingly, didn't get onto the bench on Saturday. Also unsurpisingly, Matthew Upson didn't cover himself in glory on Saturday. Mystic X predicts that Gary will not be on the bench on Wednesday. We are offering odds of 1-30. DO NOT send money.

Nothing much to say about the Bolton website and the last news that was on the Bolton page on the BBC is..................Manchester City 1 - 0 Bolton. For God's sake, does no news worthwhile bothering the BBC ever come out of the Reebok? I keep on expecting to see newsreel of Nat bundling Harry Gregg into the net to pop up there.

And while we are talking about news on the website, while we get this..... ...to advertise our new home kit, Liverpool fans get this.........to advertise their away kit. I'm not one to go in for this "scouse humour" balls, unless it's a lack of one, but this is quite good.

In other news, the now officially titled "MICHAEL RICKETTS WATCH" finds the former Bolton ace hitman has been sent down for a year. Let's hope Mr Cahill doesn't go the same way in seven years. That's Gary, not Tim who we all know is Australian and has it in his genes.

Shurley Shum Mishtake?

SEPERATED AT BIRTH?


In the latest news coming out of the FA, Fabio Capello has been put in a padded room with a stiff drink and a tonne of valium as it turns out that he thought he was calling up Tim Cahill.