Extra!! Extra!!

There is not normally a missive from The Towers over the weekend but as we are locking up on Thursday and heading for the Latitude Festival we thought we would bring you an extra instalment. No need to thank us.

So, The Ginger Special One has finally got his man and Paul Robinson will be coming up the M6 (probably in a West Brom fan's car, just to make sure).The GSO has come up with the funniest quote of the summer so far by saying that ''He's the type of player Wanderers supporters will like", which proves he doesn't look at message boards and may be losing his grasp on reality.

Now, remember Jermaine Johnson? No? Well, he was part of the Jamaican influx at T'Reebok in the early part of the decade who, along with Donovan Ricketts, were seriously easy going and seriously out of their depth. Now, apparently, he is a constant menace to defenders on the football pitch, although whether this is for his footballing "skills", currently on show at Sheffield Wednesday, or for his pugilism is not known. However, the glowing report from Sports Jamaica seems to suggest that letting him go was one of Big Sam's bigger mistakes. Johnson does say that he is targeting the Premiership but it would appear that if he is he is doing it with the wrong Sheffield club.

TV news, and Gill Fartslime is no doubt unhappy concerning Bolton's solitary game before the cameras while Chelsea have seven in the first set of TV fixtures. And to make matters worse the game chosen is the notroiously tedious (bar double penalty saves and daft scouse ex captains being sent off) see who can kick the ball highest derby against Big Sam and his Rovers. Now to put this into perspective, Chelsea play some attractive football from time to time whereas Bolton.......well, you can see where I'm coming from. But, don't worry, Paul Robinson has arrived so that is all bound to change.
However, we are not worried quoth Bolton commerical director Gareth "I got us 188 Bet" Moores. Apparently, the sponsors care more about being seen on Match of the Day than on a live game. Err...Gaz mate. A game on Sky or ESPN is on for 90 mins, plus the bits before and after, and if you've ever tuned into MOTD to watch Bolton, Goals on Sunday has nearly started by the time our three minutes are shown. Does 188 Gareth actually watch MOTD or is he sat in a tower (or DeVere Whites as it's known) counting out the match receipts very carefully while Gill Fartslime stands there in a basque and tights with a stilleto on his throat.

And finally for now, the squad have all decamped on their pre season jolly annual camp to the Austrian mountains. According to the BEN, in an article of monumental arse licking, they go to a spa, which is nice if you're with a lady but ain't no good if you're in the jungle, to paraphrase Good Morning, Vietnam. To impress upon fans that this is not a laze around the hotel pool sticking flowers in their hair, the GSO tells us that sightseeing "IS OUT". Good job to. Imagine us all here, sitting in our credit crunch while our first team squad, plus Gavin McCann, galavante off to Heidi conventions and Sound of Music sing-a-longs. The GSO. He knows his stuff.