A desert...

Morning all. To say there is nothing to report out there this morning would be like saying that the misfiring Swede is pretty pants at putting the ball in the onion bag. It would be pointless. I bet somewhere, Churchill Kilby is fixing another voodoo doll of St Owen, having stuck enough pins in the last thirty two, but that is so obvious it doesn't even make the press anymore. He has also been on Wikipedia changing the managers entry, the sad little worm. But besides that, the only news coming out today is from the former BEN, which is always a good enough target.

So let's start with this weeks Kelly's One-Eye. First of all, thanks Tony for being the only one who predicted that we would be safe this year. Phewww, it's a relief that you were our Johnny on the spot while all the other papers suggested that we would go down, despite not having been in the bottom three since mid February, and there was that panic amongst the fans who knew that The Sourz and Hull were a lot better than we were. Tony also goes onto say that you have to give credit to Gartslime and Alan Duckworth for bringing him in. Now listen, One-Eye, while they got they're man, I give no credit to men who made us put up with the previous regime for the two years that passed before. As far as I'm concerned, they're still in debit with the way that they gave the former manager more money than Big Sam could dream of, replacing said Big Sam with Little Sam and then compounding that mistake with you know who. This is like when my bank balance goes into the black the day I get paid before all the bills pour out appproximately 5.0 seconds later. They have a long way to go before they get my credit. It is my fervent hope that when the cull of unneccessary players is done, they have thrown Tony Kelly out with them or at least decided to chop his writing hand off.

Elsewhere, Our Yank may make a return for the final two games and there is some banter in the dressing room about who will be top scorer. Would Holden's return be a good thing? Well, yes and no. Yes, because he is coming to the end of his short term contract and the manager will be wanting to look at him before the end and if Little Jack doesn't return next year we need to know if he can play with Samantha. No, because if we are to finish as high up as possible a half fit passenger doesn't fit the bill. Our Yank wants game time before the World Cup, and fair enough, but I envisage him coming off the bench for Little Jack as and when. Whether that will get him to South Africa remains to be seen.

As for the banter in the dressing room, SuperKev, Matty and Gary "Gaz" Cahill are all going for the leading scorer crown. SuperKev tells the former BEN

There has been a bit of banter, which is good fun, but it’s all about getting points in our last couple of games and finishing on a high.

Well, while banter is all a bit of fun, let's hope that they realise the seriousness of this situation. Our leading striker is running neck and neck in the scoring stakes with a central defender who nearly died and a midfielder who has been nursing glandular fever for six months (allegedly). This shouldn't be the case. Spread the goals, like the love, by all means, but at the end of the day the leading scorer should be a striker. Which takes us back to Steven Fletcher and Churchill Kilby, and that's where we came in.

There, told you there was cock all, didn't I?

Until tomorrow, it's been a pleasure.