The Spurs (Semi)-Live Blog

Hello, and welcome to our first, as it happens, blog. Obviously, due to the fact that Bolton hardly appear on live TV, not being a member of the Sky 4, these will be few and far between. Oh, hang on, there's another one on Wednesday.

A quick note on the team, nearly as I saw it a couple of days ago, although I am surprised to see Ricky in the team.

Peter Drury notes Matty's presence in the team and says that Bolton may be stronger than on Tuesday. Obviously hasn't been followimg the team recently. Good to see a Lofthouse stand full......

Harry and St Owen share a laugh and a handshake. Funny, when Harry closes his mouth he looks like Churchill. The Dog. Oh yes.

Cameras point at Eidur, looking estactic to be on the bench again.

5 mins. And the ball falls to Muamba. Catch it Spurs fan in the top stand.
6 mins. Those bloody drums. Are they ever going to stop. I feel like The Master.
8 mins. Fantastic cross, falls to the wrong man but at least its hit with conviction and on target.
9 mins. Corner across, Gomes punches and we hear the first cries of "freak". Must be Crouch on the ball. Defoe takes Stefans head off and Zat gets his first shot on target this season. First shot towards to oppositon goal on target I mean.
11 mins. Spur's early tactic appears to be the decapitation of Stefan. Another shot from the misfiring Swede, over the bar.
13 mins. Ooooh, Spurs have had a shot. Oooh, Matty's done an impression of Muamba.
14 mins. Ooooh, the misfiring Swede has done an impression of Muamba.
16 mins. Dirty Spurs. Huddlestone gets a yellow.
17 mins. Spurs are in a battle says the commentator. Yes, a one side battle where they don't know what to do.
18 mins. Harry's on the screen. Oh, no no no no. Apparently the next shot Elmander does has to be on target. No shit Sherlock.
21 mins. Capello's in the stand next to Gartslime. Obviously here to watch SuperKev.
22 mins. How the hell are these not going in?
23 mins. Dirty Spurs II. Palacios gets a yellow.
24 mins. Great free kick from Taylor. Good save Gomes. Spurs manage to get out of their own half. Not for long.
26 mins. Mrs X says Bentley looks like a small time pimp. Hard to disagree.
27 mins. Huddlestone does an impression of Muamba. Crouch does an impression of Muamba.
28 mins. Another free kick. Modric covers his face, obviously because he's been hit there before.
32 mins. Quiet period, Bentley has to go off for a blood injury, possibly for being punched in the face by one of his hos.
34 mins. That my friend, is how you play football. Long ball team? Super goal from Super Kev. Hats off to the misfiring Swede.
36 mins. Great defending from Not Mike. Who needs Cahill? No, I don't mean that.
39 mins. Long thrown into the box and Crouch heads wide. These boys are offering nothing at the moment.
42 mins. Commentator notices that Stefan is playing well. Or the Pimp isn't. One or the other.
43 mins. Dirty Bolton. Zat Knight booked. Looked fair to me. Well, it was on a Spurs player. Smacking one of them in the face would be fair.
45 mins. Elmander takes on for the team whilst getting in the way.
46 mins. Matty Taylor calls Defoe a short arse and gets harshly booked. Defoe gets booked for being ugly and a short arse, which is quite fair.

HALF TIME.

I'm trying to decide whether Steve Rider is being patronising or not, but I agree with the fact that you can watch that goal again and again. Seventeen passes.

No, he is being patronising, saying "What can Spurs do about the silky skills of Bolton Wanderers?" Arse.

Amir Khan getting interviewed now. Very up, course we can win. I'd have him in a fight. No, I'd have him in a fight with me. Don't be silly.

SECOND HALF

46 mins. Can Spurs do anyhing about Chung? Super Kev's shot could have gone anywhere.
48 mins. Spurs whinging about the goal. Apparently Clive Allen had a go at Phil Dowd in the tunnel for not waving The Pimp back on before the goal. Dowd says he did and Bentley was too busy getting the hair out his eyes to see it.
49 mins. Harry on the screen again, looking like he's been parachuted into a porcupine farm. (One for our foreign fans there).
50 mins. One touch passing, misfiring Swede misfires from acute angle.
51 mins. Another Spurs attack breaks down. Should really put that on repeat.
52 mins. Another Spurs attack breaks down.
53 mins. Another Spurs attack breaks down. Muamba shoots wide. Should have that on repeat as well.
54 mins. Crouch hits bar. Dawson hand balls. Stefan hits our bar. WTF?
57 mins. Spurs coming back into it. Commentator says Crouch unlucky to hit wood. isn't that what he does every time he gives Abi a spanking?
59 mins. This is all getting a bit frantic.
60 mins. Bollocks. At least he's in my fantasy team.
62 mins. Kranjcar on for Modric. AOB on for Zat. These could decide the afternoon.
65 mins. Quite time finished by Palacios blazing over.
66 mins. Kranjcar shoots, good save Jussi. They have to step this up now otherwise we'll be run over.
68 mins. Looks like Little Davies is coming on. Chung off.
70 mins. Well, this is all going pear shaped isn't it. Not Mike handles. Time for Jussi to out psych Huddlestone.
71 mins. Which he does. SAAAAAAAAVVVEEEE!!!
72 mins. Defoe being allowed too much time, fantasy football or not.
73 mins. Now the change comes. South Korean banners in the stands. Obviously a lot of our Asian friends live in Radcliffe.
77 mins. Game seems to have calmed down now. Except for Crouch heading wide after the ball hits him on the head more than anything.
78 mins. Good close skills from the misfiring Swede, one touch too many.
80 mins. I've only just noticed, Gareth Bale looks like a vampire.
81 mins. Defoe thinks Ricketts puts a high foot in. Any foot on Defoe would be high.
82 mins. Looks like we're not going to see Eidur come on, which is a shame.
85 mins. It's kind of fizzling out now. Looks like we'll do it again.
87 mins. I've just noticed, Mark Davies looks like Matt D'Angelo. Oh no, we're going to lose. Cohen's on for Matty.
88 mins. Super Kev is man of the match. Well deserved. Three mins injury time.
89 mins. Another bit of sloppy defending. This is like watching Dr. Who when I was six.
91 mins. On repeat, Muamba hits it wide.
92 mins. Spurs take three goes at deciding on a throw in taker.
93 mins. That's it. Get your tickets whenever you want, there'll be plenty.