They ruined a perfect asshole when they put teeth in your mouth....

Afternoon all, and we start with a bit of unrelated Bolton news but as it involves everyone's special Bolton hater, we'll make an exception. Apparently Stanley Victor said in T'Mirror yesterday that if Mr Vinegar of The Emirates gave him Theo Walcott he would turn him into a world beater. An Arsenal fan almost immediately came out with the obvious retort, changing the word "world" into something else. See if you can guess what that word is before going here to see if you were right. Which of course, you were.

Moving swiftly on like a sleek gazelle in the Serengeti, giving the two fingered salute to a couple of lions after running into some water and then shouting "Come on you pussies", we come to Kelly's "One" Eye in today's former BEN. It is very difficult for someone to write so much and say so little and yet Tony has managed that in spades today. Whilst we wouldn't want to wish unemployment on anybody, is it me or does it seem strange that the mouthpiece of the former manager is the only one who DIDN'T go in the cull of the staff, especially as his backing for the former manager set your teeth on edge. And now it is as if this never happened in Tony's world. Yes, we are aware that he holds a special place in the hearts of Bolton fans but now that St Owen is in place, is there a need for a "Fans Liasion Officer" as the manager seems to be doing a decent job himself. Just a thought.

Turning our thoughts to tomorrow's match at The Spuds and it seems that T'Trotters will be missing Gretar and Little Davies, and with both Little Jack and Dracula cup tied, this may see a debut for our new Yank, Stuart Holden, of whom the manager says

He is a young, hungry player who is desperate to do well and an exciting prospect who always catches the eye.

This is a big chance for Holden who is the only one of the three new signings we have a chance of keeping in the summer. It is also a chance for some fringe players, with both Riga and Big Al being mentioned in despatches. For Riga, a player who has flattered to decieve, that ship has almost certainly sailed, but it would be interesting to see how Big Al copes against Spurs forward line. It can't be easy for him, seeing Jussi pull off save after save every week and he deserves some sort of action, if only to keep Jussi in cotton wool for a day or so. As for the Spuds, they are missing the perenially injured Ledley King and Iron Lennon and their own cuptied Younes Kaboul. However, Spurs are a different proposition at home than away but we have come away with some results over the years, although the first time that I left a game early was in the 4-0 loss a couple of years back.

There is little doubt that the Wolves game is more important than tomorrow and very few would begrudge St Owen putting out a lesser team than usual, but the manager generally bigs up the cup. As such we would expect a line up of Al - Stefan, Zat, AOB, Not Mike - Matty, Ricky, Mumba, Lee - Kidneys, SuperKev. The Muppet Cascarino predicts a Spurs win, obviously, but doesn't seem to have seen our clean sheets since St Owen took over, as apparently we are "leaking goals". Which tells you all you need to know about Tony Cascarino, a man who won exactly nothing in England.

And, with that top and tailing our critique of useless former football playing journalists, we will ask you if the CIA have got you pushing too many pencils and see you tomorrow.